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Fire Insults at Will/Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen: This Means War “Last time on Total Drama Island: For Your Entertainment, I finally got to enjoy the mindless violence that this show used to be centered around.” A war paint streaked Chris paused to look off into the distance, his face giddy at the memory. “Cara was feeling sour about the whole ‘Camille is a heartless criminal’ thing, so Irina moved in with her to cheer her up. Sebastian explain his cold strategy to Victor, and Minerva premiered her new behind the scenes contestant-stalking blog. “The challenge was full of falling, flailing, and failing as the three-round obstacle course eliminated player after player. Elena and Gabe were at each other’s throats, while Isaac and Avery seemed to be after each other’s hearts with Cara distracted by crippling angst. Eventually, slacker Isaac managed to beat power player Risty to win the challenge by doing the one thing he knows best – cheating. “After the challenge, Minerva patched things up with Gabe, who explained that he just worked with Elena because he was lonely and pathetic. Meanwhile, Elena convinced Sebastian’s alliance that Gabe had stolen a personal item of hers, leading up to The Emmy voting off the rich boy that night. After the elimination, Cara told Irina that she had feelings for Isaac, unaware that said troublemaker was currently locking lips with a certain curvaceous drama queen.” The host wiggled his eyebrows. “Ooooh, scandalous! What will be the aftermath of this new love triangle? Will The Oscars be able to maintain their winning streak? Better yet, will there ever be a girl eliminated who isn’t a jewel thief? Watch everyone battle it out on this thrilling episode of Total … Drama … Island: For Your Entertainment!” By the time midnight struck, The Hotel was finally left in a peaceful silence, as the bickering roommates and fooling around friends succumbed to their challenge-worn bodies’ desperate pleas for sleep. The main lobby was chillingly quiet, the silence only broken by the chirp of crickets outside the window, until two sets of footsteps descended down one of the staircases. Though the noise would not be a problem at any other time of day, the otherwise hushed hotel caused the footsteps to sound as loud as gunshots. “Can’t you walk any quieter?” One of the night owls hissed under his breath. “Not in these boots.” The stairwell door creaked open, and Angel and Allison emerged and immediately pressed themselves against a shadowed wall. After scanning the room for security, they both let out a sigh of relief and relaxed their postures. “I told you the coast would be clear.” Allison said, giving Angel a good-natured jab with her elbow. “It’s safe in here, but look.” The fire starter gestured towards one of the front windows, where a security guard’s shoulder peeked out from where he was monitoring the door. “Do you have a plan to get past these guards, Agent Bond?” “Of course I do.” The adrenaline junkie reached into her boot and pulled out a digital watch, the face reading 12:04 in bright green numbers. She tossed the accessory at her friend. “I’ve done my research, Angel.” The pyromaniac snatched the watch from the air, giving it a once over. “I apparently haven’t, because I have no idea what the time has to do with anything.” “Over the last few days, I’ve been watching the two on door duty through the wall of windows. At the exact same time every day, they leave their posts.” “Where do they go?” Angel asked. Allison shrugged. “I don’t know, probably a poop break or something. Wherever they go, they’re always gone for a good twenty minutes, and nobody covers for them. That should give us plenty of time to get out and in without anybody noticing.” The Puerto Rican held up the watch. “What time'll they be gone?” “Right abouutttttt …” The daredevil held out the word until the four flicked to a five. “Now!” The pair turned around just in time to see the guard’s shoulder disappear, two pairs of heavy footsteps trudging away from the door. “And we’re good to go!” “And what if they heard you loudly announcing the plan and are waiting right around the corner for us?” Angel questioned. “Then we’re totally screwed.” The scarlet-haired girl stated. “They’ll probably think we’re trying to sneak a peek at an upcoming challenge to cheat. Hopefully the punishment isn’t disqualification.” Angel had been reaching for the door, though his hand dropped at the mention of disqualification. “And you don’t care that you might be losing your chance at a million bucks because you want to explore?” “I do care, but what’s the chance that they’re actually going to catch us? I’m willing to take the risk.” Looking up at her friend’s conflicted expression, Allison could practically see the gears turning in his head. “If you don’t want to do this, we can just forget about the whole thing. It wouldn’t be fun if I went alone.” “It’s … it’s fine. I need to get out of this stupid hotel anyway.” Angel stood up straight and confidently pushed the door open. He and Allison poked their heads out of the crack, and, after a full examination of the surrounding area, deemed it safe to continue. They took a cautious step outside, bracing themselves for the sound of an alarm, though the warning never came. Angel gently closed the door behind them, careful not to let it make a sound as it shut. “Do you have a key to get back in?” “No, but I have a bobby pin.” Allison reached into her arm warmer and pulled out at least a dozen pins. “Make that a crap-load of bobby pins. I may have over prepared.” “You know how to pick a lock?” The fire starter questioned. The thrill seeker grinned. “No, but I bet you do!” Angel rolled his eyes. “You just think I know how to do typical criminal things because I like setting things on fire, right? Talk about stereotyping.” Allison’s smile didn’t fade. “I didn’t hear you deny it …” The Latino began to walk away, though after a few steps he turned around. “Okay, yes, I can pick a lock. Now where are we going?” “Well, first of all, quiet down. Now that we’re on the grounds, we’re in unsafe territory.” “I’m not the one with the lead feet.” The pyromaniac whispered. “I’m sorry that I apply my driving style to real life. I’ll try to be quieter.” The daredevil stepped ahead of him, her feet still clunking on the pavement. “I think we should head to the amphitheater and see whose star is crushed.” The pair of Oscars crept across the film lot, slipping in between sets to stay in the shadows. Contrary to the warning that Chris had given on the first day, the area wasn’t flooded with guards, and the only sounds that they heard were the rustling of animals completing their nighttime routines and the clomping of Allison’s boots. After a few minutes of walking, they finally spotted the staircase leading down to the Team’s Choice Awards amphitheater. As Allison rushed ahead, Angel followed with less enthusiasm, keeping a cautious eye out for security. “Allison, get down!” The pyromaniac hissed, pressing himself against a shadowed wall and reaching out a hand to force her to do the same. A beam of light illuminated the spot where they had just been standing. “Hey, did you hear that?” A gruff voice pondered. A second beam appeared a few feet away from the first, lighting up the face of a stout man in a uniform. Angel and Allison held their breath as the two guards inspected the area, though the flashlights never reached the concealed corner where they hid. “It must’ve just been the wind.” The second guard replied. “Working for McLean’s got you hallucinating.” The two flashlight beams turned to face the other direction, and the pair of guards retreated towards another set. Allison and Angel scurried to the amphitheater, slipping underneath the chain slung across the entrance and descending the stairs. “Check Elena’s first.” Angel instructed, walking alongside the stars mounted against the front of the stage. When he reached Elena’s, he was shocked to find that it remained intact, though the star to its immediate right was freshly destroyed. He leaned over to pick up one of the shattered pieces that had fallen to the ground, turning it over to read the name etched into it. “Why Gabe?” “Eh, good riddance.” Allison scoffed, hoisting herself up to sit on the edge of the stage. “I didn’t really like that guy anyway.” “Agreed.” Her friend nodded, leaning against Elena’s star. His casual posture immediately stiffened when he heard an odd sound. “Did you say something?” “What? No, why?” “I think I just heard something.” The daredevil arched a thick brow. “I guess getting stuck in The Hotel really has made you a little stir crazy.” Tee hee hee. Angel’s eyes widened. “Please tell me you heard that.” Tee hee hee. “What the hell is it?” Allison shrieked. Tee hee hee. Hahaha hee hee. “I think it’s coming closer!” Angel yelped. “And it’s multiplying!” The giggles grew louder and fuller as more of the mystery creatures began to join in with the strange twitter. Allison dropped down to stand beside Angel, frantically looking around for the source of the sound. “Look!” Angel followed her gaze to the bleachers, where many pairs of eyes were peeking between the slats. “Who’s there?” “Allison … Angel … Angel … Allison …” The pair of teens exchanged a terrified expression as their names were chanted in a chorus of differently pitched voices. “I’m too young to die!” Allison squeaked, clamping onto Angel’s arm. “There’re so many things I haven’t done yet!” “Allison … Angel … sign our shirts …” “Oh god.” Angel’s heart dropped. “What?!” The thrill seeker squeezed his arm even tighter. “Is it ghosts or something? Because all that voodoo crap I did in the second challenge was a joke, I didn’t mean to summon angry spirits!” “No.” The Latino shook his head slowly. “It’s worse.” “Vampires?” “Worse.” “Werewolves?” “Even worse.” “Angel … Allison … can we get a selfie?” “Ghost werewolves that drink blood like vampires?” “No.” Angel grimaced. “It’s the diehard fans.” Suddenly, the fans started creeping out from beneath the bleachers. Most of them were wide-eyed teenage girls, though there were several young boys and lonely men strewn throughout the pack. “What are they doing here?” Allison whispered. “How did they even get in here?” “I don’t know, but I really don’t want to find out.” Angel grabbed her by the arm and began to run. “Let’s get out of here!” They scrambled up the stairs, the hardcore fans right on their tail as they ducked under the chain. They raced as quietly as they could across the film lot, though the fans were less aware and were squealing in excitement as they reach out for the reality stars, their numbers only growing as more and more fans emerged from inside sets. Confession Cam Allison: “If this whole Total Drama thing doesn’t work out, Angel and I are going to star in a spin-off: Unlikely Chase Sequences That Actually Happened.” She declared this with a serious face. “Seriously, first the Veronique thing, and now this? Just add in a cute animal sidekick and a hot girl and you have a television classic.” When the two frantic Oscars realized that there was no way they could reach the safety of The Hotel before the fans caught up to them, they decided to take an alternate escape route while they still had a slight lead over them. Allison yanked Angel around a corner and began to climb up the bricks that jutted out from the side of the old-time jailhouse set. They scaled the building and pulled themselves up onto the roof, where they sat in unmoving silence as they heard the fans enter the alley below them. “Where’d they go?” One admirer asked. “I think they went this way!” Another proclaimed, leading the flock away from the jailhouse. After a few seconds, Angel and Allison saw two flashlight beams rushing after them. “Who’s out here?!” One of the security guards shouted. “Get back here!” Once the security guards were out of their vicinity, Angel let out a sigh of relief and Allison laid down on the roof with a laugh. “If anybody ever wonders how this show stays in business, they need to see those whackos!” The adrenaline junkie managed to get out through her cackling. “I guess that explains a lot, right?” She cut off her laughter when she didn’t hear a response. “Angel?” “You know, when your hair spreads out like that it kind of looks like a flame.” The daredevil narrowed her eyes at the pyromaniac. “Okay, I guess it sort of doe-” “And the way the moon’s shining down right now, it gives everything, like, this fiery glow.” Angel continued, his face in a daze. “It’s like somebody was holding a lighter up to everything. It all looks so warm.” “Angel, are you okay?” “I’m fine,” He insisted. “Totally cool … chilly, even. Just anything but hot, because I’m definitely not that. Did it just get cold all of a sudden or is it just me?” Allison stared at her babbling friend with terrified confusion. “Angel, you need to breathe!” “What’re you talking about, I am breathing!” The fire starter began rapidly breathing in and out. “See? I’m one step away from hyperventilating!” The horror didn’t leave the normally fearless girl’s expression. “Are you going through some kind of fire withdrawal?” “Ha-ha, me? Nah, no way!” Angel laughed awkwardly, slowly shaking his head. Eventually, he collapsed onto his back beside Allison. “Okay, yes, but don’t tell anybody.” “I won’t, but it won’t stay a secret too long if you keep talking like this. You’re more out of it than Ophelia.” The Latino let out a curt laugh, and the crimson-haired girl grinned. “This is good. I’m here to help, and I think the first thing we need to try to do is get your mind off of it.” “I’ve been trying!” He claimed. “And I was doing so well for a while, but eventually I remember that I’m not thinking about it because I don’t want to burn things, it’s that I can’t. My contract says I can’t burn anything valuable while I’m on the show, but that just makes me want to more! The other day I locked myself in the bathroom and burned tissues. Goddamn tissues!” “You’re just out of it, that’s all.” Allison said. “Being locked up on this film set with cameras watching our every move is driving us all crazy. We need to get out of here. Sneak out one day, go wherever we want, have a night all to ourselves.” “Yeah, that sounds nice.” Angel closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. “It can be just you and me, or we can bring Isaac or Paulie if he’s in a good mood, and we’ll party or chill or whatever. Just get away from it all for a few hours, and we can be back by morning.” “I … I’d really like that.” “I knew you would.” Allison sat up and shook out her hair. “Now that we have this planned, we need to get back.” Angel propped himself up on his elbows. “You don’t want to stay out a little longer?” She plucked the digital watch from her boot again. “We only had twenty minutes, remember?” “Right, right.” The pyromaniac nodded. “Wouldn’t want to get mauled for an autograph by those crazies, right?” “One of these days, maybe she’ll remember to open the shade before she leaves.” Ophelia lifted the blinds up from her window, letting in rays of sun to light up her dark bedroom. Her roommate was nowhere to be found, though the artist had learned to expect this. Donna was missing nine mornings out of ten, disappearing off to God knows where but usually regrouping with Ophelia at breakfast. The blonde made Donna’s bed for her, humming to herself as she folded her blanket over. When she turned around to fluff her hair in the mirror, she heard a knock on the other side of the bathroom door. “Helloooooo?” She called in a sing-song. “A little birdie told me the most beautiful blonde in the building is right behind this door.” A familiar voice purred from the bathroom. Ophelia tilted her head in confusion. “No, Irina’s room is upstairs.” A sigh. “Ophelia, I’m talking about you.” “Oh!” The oddball rushed to unlock the door, swinging it open to find Victor on the other side. “You’re too sweet.” “I only tell the truth, Ophelia. No legacy is so rich as honesty.” The thespian smiled. “Can I come in?” “Of course!” She stepped aside and took a dramatic bow. “Welcome to my room. Watch out for the various items of clothing on the ground, and make sure you don’t step on any of my stuff.” Victor stepped inside the artist’s room to find a huge mural painted on the far wall. It was a strange cross between a beautiful floral landscape and psychedelic patterns, and, though it was unusual and a bit garish, it perfectly matched Ophelia’s personality. “You made that?” “I did!” The painter grinned. “It’s extraordinary.” When Victor saw Ophelia blush in reaction, he changed the topic, satisfied by the response. “Oh, you know why I think the room seems so nice? It’s missing an obnoxious cynic.” “Oh, yeah, Donna disappears all the time, but I’m not really sure where she goes.” “Fortunately for you, I have the answers to all your problems.” Victor plucked a sticky note from his pocket. “My roommate is not a cold-hearted b-word and was courteous enough to leave a note.” Ophelia gasped. “Donna’s not a-” Her outburst was cut short when the actor pressed the note to her forehead. She giggled girlishly and removed the sticky note, squinting her eyes as she struggled to decode the unnecessarily tiny scrawl on it. “Victor,” She read aloud, “Since you decided to again entertain the whole building at one in the morning by screaming show tunes in the shower, I had to leave. Thanks a lot. You’re a great friend. Donna and I are supposed to cook breakfast today, so we’ll be in the cafeteria when you wake up from your full, uninterrupted sleep, because you don’t have anybody keeping you awake with the song of their melodramatic people. Your sleepless roommate, Wes.” The pale-haired girl looked up at Victor. “He’s a bit blunt, isn’t he?” “For a guy who writes music, he really doesn’t have a way with words.” Victor agreed. “I think they’re making up the whole keeping them awake thing just to annoy me. You’re the same distance from the shower as them, but you never wake up!” “That’s because I think you sing like an angel.” Ophelia cooed, giving Victor a look of admiration. Even when they locked eyes, her wonder didn’t fade, and the thespian found himself lost for words. His token flirty responses escaped him, and his face flushed a light pink. A smile spread across Ophelia’s lips, and Victor blinked to snap himself out of it and slung an arm around her shoulders. “And I would say the same thing about you.” He drawled. “How’s about breakfast?” Isaac jutted his plate out. “Pancake me.” Donna refused to comply. “Excuse me?” “Pancake.” The underachiever shook his plate a little, but she just gave him a disgusted look. “Do you really think that speaking like a Neanderthal will convince me that you deserve food?” Isaac glared. “I’m not in the mood to joke around!” “And I’m not in the mood to deal with an unwashed pig whose mother never taught him to say ‘please,’ but look where I am.” “Just give me my damn breakfast!” Isaac snarled, catching the attention of everybody in the cafeteria. Despite all of the eyes on her, Donna, against all of her common sense, remained stubborn. “''No.” The troublemaker lunged over the counter, reaching out for the wisecracker’s throat. “You little bitch!” “Whoa, whoa, ''whoa!” Wes rushed over and stepped in front of Donna, grabbing Isaac by the wrists and pushing him back. “What's your problem?” “All I want is my freaking breakfast, but she won’t give it to me!” The slacker growled. Wes glanced back at Donna, who stood behind him with her arms crossed. “''Really?” She moved her shoulder in what could barely be called a shrug. “Yes.” Wes slapped a pancake onto a plate and slid it to Isaac. “Here. Take it and get out of here.” Satisfied that he had gotten what he wanted, the troublemaker stomped over to pour himself some orange juice. Wes looked down at Donna. “You know that little voice that people have in the back of their heads that tells them to quit doing something before they get killed?” “You mean a conscience?” Donna suggested. “I don’t think you have one.” When Wes turned back to the tray of pancakes, but Donna wouldn’t let the comment slide, slipping in between him and the counter. “Yes, I do! I probably have the most common sense of everyone here.” “You should start using it.” Wes leaned over Donna to scoop food onto Risty’s plate, hiding his grin at the petite pessimist’s huff of frustration. Putting the juice container down, Isaac rolled his eyes at the pair of Emmys, muttering expletives under his breath at them as he collapsed into the chair beside Angel. The other Oscars watched in scared silence as he sunk his teeth into his pancake and ripped a piece from it. “Are you okay, man?” Angel asked as the rest of the team started up other conversations, desperate to pretend that Isaac and Donna’s skirmish hadn’t happened. “Not at all.” Isaac said through his teeth. “I hope the challenge today is violent so I can beat the crap out of something.” “Don’t let Donna get to you.” The pyromaniac advised. “I’m pretty sure she’s like that with everyone.” “I was pissed before I got here. She just made it worse.” “Made ''what worse? Dude, what’s going on?” “Yes, I wonder what could possibly be wrong.” Avery hummed from a few seats down, her pouty lips curled into a grin. “What''ever'' could it be that’s making you feel so bad?” “Nobody asked you to open your mouth, Avery!” The slacker sneered, his fork clanking down onto his plate. “Hmmm, sounds like you don’t want to me to mention something.” The drama queen gave a mock expression of confusion, tapping her finger against her chin. “But what could I'' know that nobody else does?” “Just shut up!” The table was silent once again as Isaac attempted to cool down, Allison, Irina, and Paul scooting their chairs away from him in fear. When he resumed eating, Angel started talking to his teammates in an attempt to summon them back to the table. While everybody else was distracted, a warm hand slid across the table to rest on top of Isaac’s. He looked up to find a pair of big, sympathetic brown eyes watching him. “You know,” Cara spoke, her voice calm and gentle, “if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Isaac gave her a bitter grin. “Thank you … but this really isn’t something you need to be involved with.” '''Confession Cam' Isaac: He sighed and put his face in his hands. “I … I really screwed up. Messing around with Avery the other night might be the worst thing I’ve ever done. Yeah, she’s hot, but that’s nothing. If Cara finds out …” He slammed his fist onto the bench he was sitting on. “I’ll have ruined everything with her! If I try to keep it from her, though, she’ll have to find out eventually.” He looked up at the camera, his fingers running down his face and stretching the skin of his cheeks. “I let stupid hormones get in the way of common sense, and now Avery has me in the worst position possible … and I have no idea how to fix it.” “Dude, did you see that?” Risty sat down beside Sebastian at The Emmys’ table. “Donna almost got herself slaughtered!” “Luckily she had a six foot-something skeleton to protect her.” Sebastian responded, not sharing Risty’s enthusiasm. “Come on, that had me on the edge of my seat!” The athlete took an excited bite of her pancake. “You had to have at least been a little worried what would happen?” “I knew she’d get out of it somehow. Donna doesn’t like getting her hands dirty.” “Oh, I’m sorry for being left in suspense.” Risty put on a mocking tone. “We can’t all be as omnipresent as you are, Bas.” “Of course you can’t be.” Sebastian smiled. “It wouldn’t be a very good trick if everyone could do it. And don’t call me that.” “You don’t like nicknames?” “Nicknames remind me of my stepsister, who is an idiot, so I prefer to stay away from them.” The big-haired Emmy snickered. “I have a wimpy twin brother, so I can relate to the idiot sibling thing.” “''Step''sibling.” The card shark corrected. Suddenly, a chair was shoved between Sebastian and Risty, and Elena plopped down in it. “What are you two chatting about?” “Speaking of idiots ...” Sebastian mumbled. “Oh, stop with the compliments, darling.” Elena chuckled, placing a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, which he promptly removed. “So, what were we talking about?” Risty fidgeted in her seat, sticking her elbows out to make room. “I don’t think there’s room in this area for three of us.” “That’s right, so get out.” The socialite shoved the athlete away, causing her chair to go skidding across the room. Elena leaned on the table, a hand crawling its way up Sebastian’s arm. “So, where were we?” Risty’s chair stopped skidding when she bumped into Victor at the other end of the table. The thespian pushed her out of his personal space, sending her sliding right back into Elena’s side. “Hey, haven’t seen you in a while.” Sebastian waved at Risty, giving Elena a cocky smirk. “Ugh, didn’t I tell you to get out of here?! I’m trying to have a private talk!” The hotel heiress reached out to push the jock again, but Risty stretched a leg out and kicked her away before she could touch her. “Hey, what are you doing?!” Before Elena could hit Sebastian, he scooched back, and she went sliding past him and flying onto the floor. Sebastian and Risty cracked up into laughter, the other contestants soon joining them. Elena leapt to her feet and got ready to have the last word, but she was interrupted by somebody clearing their throat from the doorway. The competitors looked over to see a nervous young intern standing in the doorway. “Um, hey guys.” He waved a pair of folded papers to them. “Chris sent me to get you for a challenge.” The sixteen remaining players gathered around the intern, who handed papers to Elena and Angel. They unfolded them to find a map of McLean Studios, a big red X marked on the edge of the forest. “I take it we’re going to the X?” Angel guessed. “You got it.” The intern chuckled nervously. “You guys head out, I’ll clean up here.” The two teams migrated outside of The Hotel, where Angel took a good look at his map and gave his team a smile. “I actually think I might know where we’re going.” As the Oscars set on their trek, Elena rotated her map in confusion. “Which way do you hold this stupid thing?” Monique snatched it away from her. “There’s a compass in the corner for a reason, you know.” “Screw you and your compass, I can figure it out!” Elena ripped the map from the designer’s hands. “No, you obviously can’t!” The trendsetter pulled at the other end of the map, though Elena didn’t release her hold. “I have a chauffeur!” Elena whined. “Who needs a stupid map?!” “Um, maybe an explorer?” Ophelia suggested, watching as the socialite and fashionista tugged the map back and forth. “Or somebody who’s lost?” RRRRRIIIIIPPPP! Elena and Monique stared at the shredded map, dropping it to the ground between them. “Oh crap.” The New Yorker stared at the map’s remains before scurrying after The Oscars. “Follow them!” The other eight Emmys chased Monique and The Oscars across the entire film set, eventually reaching the outskirts of the woods and, as Angel had predicted, the jailhouse set. As soon as they approached it, the door slammed open to reveal Chef Hatchet dressed in full policeman’s garb. “Attention, maggots!” He barked, slapping a nightstick against his palm. The sixteen contestants got into a straight line and adjusted their posture, keeping their backs rigid, their arms at their sides, and their feet together. “I am Colonel Hatchet, and I will be your jailer today. Chris is gettin’ your weapons for the challenge, so I’m here to explain what’s goin’ on.” “Did you just say weapons?” Cara whimpered. Chef pointed his nightstick at her. “Did I say you could speak, Private Barnes?!” “Wait, you’re a colonel now?” Avery asked. “What war were you even in?” “Shut your mouth, Private Dellcourte!” Chef prodded Avery with his nightstick, though she was unfazed. “Did you actually memorize all of our last names just so you could sound more intimidating?” “Do you want to get Dishonorable Discharge?!” “I’m not even in the army!” The diva exclaimed. “How am I going to be discharged from something I was never in?” Avery and Chef glared at each other for a minute, though he eventually retracted his nightstick and began to pace up and down the line of competitors. “Today’s challenge is based off of popular first-person shooter videogames. You’re all goin’ to war. Armed with only a paintball gun, you’ll be sent into these woods here,” He pointed his nightstick at the forest behind him, “for a firefight. Your goal is to win the battle by ‘capturing’ all of the members of the other team. To capture somebody, you shoot them with a paintball. “You can use any strategies you want to win, but there’s no playing dirty. You ain’t bein’ provided with pads or helmets, meaning all shots must be below the neck.” Chef marched to stand in front of Victor, making fierce eye contact with him. “That means that hits here,” Chef whacked Victor in the chest with his nightstick, “Here,” The actor yelped in pain as he was hit in the knees, “Or here,” Victor squeaked out a cry as Chef’s nightstick hit him in the groin, collapsing to the ground in agony, “are all fair shots. Anythin’ that hits the face will lead to immediate disqualification and probably a lawsuit.” “I think I’m dying.” Victor moaned from where he was curled up in the grass, reaching a desperate hand out. “I’m coming for you, Great-Grandma Jean!” “Stop your whinin’, Private Fruitcake!” Chef whacked Victor in the hand, making him shriek in anguish. “When you’re captured, you’ll come back here to the jail, where you will promptly have a mug shot taken and be locked in the cell. This set was from a Wild West movie, so this is a one-cell jailhouse and you’re all stuck together. If somebody has the balls to attempt an escape mission, then they can release up to four of their teammates, but they’ll be a movin’ target for anyone smart enough to camp by the edge of the woods. Trust me, though, once you’re in those woods, you ain’t comin’ out on your own terms. Last team standin’ wins-” “I’m here!” Dressed in an army uniform, Chris hurried into the area, pulling a cart with a gun rack and a set of boxes tied onto it. He ripped open the boxes and stepped back from the cart. “Everybody grab a gun and a pack of paintballs while I explain the challenge.” When the players obeyed his orders by rushing the gun rack, Chef stepped to Chris’s side. “Already done.” “What?! Why?!” “You took too long.” The pretty boy stamped his foot. “Come on, Chef! That’s my job!” The large man swung his nightstick out to hit Chris in the hip, the host squealing in pain. “That’s Colonel to you, maggot.” When Chris recovered from the blow, the competitors had lined up with their guns and ammo. Some seemed comfortable and confident holding a weapon, while others were holding it at an arm’s length as if they feared it would bite them. Cara was quivering in fear even though she had dropped her gun on the ground several feet away, while beside her Avery was aiming her firearm in Allison’s direction. “You’ll be given ten minutes of safe time to go out into the forest, where if you shoot for any reason, you’re automatically out. When you hear my trusty bullhorn,” Chris pulled the familiar device from where it was slung through his belt and held it up, “it’s time for war! You ten minutes start … now!” The contestants quickly grouped up and sprinted into the woods, some packs breaking off into even smaller cliques once they reached the tree line. Only Isaac stayed behind, casually throwing his gun over his shoulder. When Chris gave him a scowl, the troublemaker pointed at the stack of boxes that were tied onto the cart. “You going to use these ropes?” “You can have them, I guess.” Chris answered. Isaac gathered an armful of ropes and headed into the woods. “Excellent.” “Okay, team, I know you’re not very good at following orders, but here’s the plan.” The Emmys were caught up in their own conversations as they followed Sebastian through the woods. The gambler rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to try to get their attention, but Risty held up a finger. “I’ve got this.” She cupped her hands around her mouth and bellowed, “HEEEEY!” “Great job blowing our cover already. Now we’re going to get captured.” Victor retorted, though the shout had been successful in summoning him and the other Emmys. “We have time, and Sebastian wants to talk.” Risty jerked a thumb at her broad-shouldered teammate. “Take it away, Bas.” “Thank you, and don’t call me that.” Sebastian broke a branch off of a nearby tree and crouched down, drawing a diagram in the dirt. “Clearly, there’s only one way to approach this situation. We know that The Oscars really don’t get along with each other, so they most likely have broken into small groups of one to three people. We need to stay in two squads and surround these groups.” He grabbed a pebble and a leaf and placed them on opposite edges of the diagram before looking up at his teammates. “Squad One will be Risty, Elena, Wes, Moni-” He abruptly stopped his sentence and wildly looked around. “Where are Wes and Monique?” “Oh, they’re long gone.” Victor said with a casual wave of his hand. “I’m pretty sure they left back when we passed that big rock.” “That was five minutes ago!” Sebastian exclaimed. “Like I said, long gone.” The strategist sighed, looking back down at his diagram. “Okay, change of plans, Squad One is Risty, Elena, Minerva, and Ophelia. I’ll take Victor and Donna in Squad Two. Each group walks opposite sides of the perimeter, keeping an eye out for the smaller Oscar packs. If one of your squad-mates is hit, you avenge them with a passion, but that won’t happen if you stick to the plan. They can’t hit all of us if we circle them, and if we stay quiet they will never see us coming. We will bombard each group, and this challenge will be done within the hour. Everybody got it?” Sebastian looked up to discover that only Risty, Minerva, and Elena remained standing around him. “Um, I’m still not clear if I’m the rock or the leaf.” Minerva admitted. “Could you go over that again?” “Where did they go?!” The card shark shouted. “I’m pretty sure they left right after you went back to drawing your picture.” Elena explained. “Ugh, I had it all planned out!” Sebastian threw his hands up in anger, scraping his foot to sweep away his diagram. “Now we’re going to lose! Why can’t they just listen?” “Hey, you still have us.” Risty pointed out. “I liked your plan.” “And I’ll stick with you if Risty does.” Minerva agreed. “And I’ve just recruited you, Captain Sex-on-a-Stick, to be my personal protector.” Elena gave him a predatory grin. Though Sebastian wasn’t quite satisfied by the outcome, he gave the three girls a nod. “I can work with this.” He pointed a finger Elena. “But it’s General Sex-on-a-Stick.” Confession Cam Sebastian: “I had it all figured out, but they all left and ruined my plan. Now look who I’m left with: a desperate skank who’s falsely convinced herself that she’s in control of this game, the big mouthed redhead who’s terrified to be within five feet of the skank, and Risty.” He shook his head in disappointment. “I’m going to try to work with this situation, but if we lose this challenge, nobody can say it’s my fault. I had a step-by-step strategy to win, but they left before they could hear it.” Elena: “Sebastian still doesn’t know that I totally played his alliance at the last elimination. Getting rid of Gabe was the first step of my master plan, and getting control of Sebastian’s alliance was the second. And now, this challenge is working out perfectly. Since Victor and Monique ran away with their own groups and Donna’s not around to distract Sebastian, I can finally talk him into working with me. He’ll think I’m just reaching out for somebody now that Gabe’s gone, but I’ll really just have him falling right into the palm of my hand!” “I’m really not comfortable with this challenge.” “We’re in the same boat.” Irina made a face at her paintball gun. “I don’t even know how to work this thing.” “I know, right?” Cara blew her bangs out of her face. “You’d think Chris would’ve at least told us how to turn off the safety.” Irina furrowed her brow. “What exactly is a safety?” Cara slumped her shoulders. “We’re doomed.” Cara and Irina trudged through the forest, their guns dragging behind them and drawing a curvy line in the dirt. The two girls were undoubtedly the most nonviolent members of The Oscars, so shooting people was out of the question, even if they were only armed with paintballs. They both planned on running if they heard gunshots, aware that they were better at avoiding a messy situation than confronting it head-on. “We should’ve partnered up with Allison or Isaac.” Irina suggested. “They seemed like they knew what they were doing, but we just ran off like chickens before we could even think to group up with them.” “Well, they say hindsight’s always twenty-twenty.” Cara commented. “I honestly didn’t even see Isaac go into the woods.” The model let out a dry laugh. “Probably because you were blinded with terror.” “Huh. Maybe.” The tree hugger bit her lower lip. “With how weirdly he was acting this morning, I don’t even know if I’d trust him with a gun.” “Afraid he’ll go on a rampage?” “Yes, actually.” “I’m sure he’s fine.” Irina pushed through a bush, holding the branches back to let Cara through behind her. “He’s always had trouble with anger management. You just need to give him a chance to flip out and then he’ll be good.” “I don’t know.” The nature lover squeezed through the gap in the shrub much easier than the taller girl. “I just wanted to talk to him, but it seems like he’s avoiding me.” “He probably has a lot on his mind. He doesn’t want to accidentally let all his anger out on you.” “Well, I have a lot on my mind, too. I wanted to work everything out with him, talk about … you know, us, but I can’t even get a word in when he’s like this. He’s practically unresponsive when I talk to him, and today he said it ‘wasn’t something I needed to be involved with.’ What does that even me – oh, don’t touch that! Poison oak!” Irina jumped back from the branch that she had just reached out to move aside. “Oh, thanks! I had no idea.” She went around the bush, her gun still dragging along behind her. “Believe it or not, everyone goes through romance trouble. It’s just a rough patch, but it’ll get better for you. You deserve it to get better.” Cara gave her friend a soft grin. “You think so?” “I know so.” The screech of a bullhorn pierced the air, and a flock of birds scattered above the two Oscars’ heads. “We should keep going into the woods. The deeper we are, the harder we’ll be to find.” In another part of the forest, Angel, Allison, and Paul had settled into a dense thicket of shrubs as they waited for the echo of the signal horn to die off. “It’s show time, boys.” Allison smirked, leaning back in her crouch. “Now we just wait for someone to come find us. We look like sitting ducks, and then right when they’re not expecting it – BAM! – we shoot!” “Do you really think that will work?” The ever-doubtful Paul asked, his eyes uncertainly scanning their surroundings. “We’ll be fine.” Angel agreed with Allison. “We’ve got the dream team here. You’re the wilderness master, Allison’s reckless and impulsive and will fire at any random sound, and I’m the common sense. Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?” The trio went silent when they heard a twig snap nearby. Paul immediately lifted his paintball gun up, steadily aiming it in the direction of the noise. Angel and Allison had slower reaction times, though they too pointed their weapons at the concealed culprit. Eventually, a bush rustled and a chipmunk hopped out from it. “Oh, thank god.” Allison let out a relieved sigh and lowered her gun. “We were scared of a little squirrel!” “I’m pretty sure it’s a chipmunk, but that’s ever lamer.” Angel released a laugh. “And to think we were so worried about it being the Em – AGH!” “ANGEL!” Allison and Paul could only watch as a paintball seemed to come out of nowhere and hit Angel in the side. The Puerto Rican teen looked around for his attacker, but leaves started crunching all around him to conceal the shooter’s location. His ears perked up when he heard somebody kick a rock on his right side. “Over here!” He pointed for his teammates, and Allison and Paul shot a barrage of paintballs at the indicated spot. They paused to see if they had hit their target, but the forest quickly returned to its former stillness. Suddenly, a flurry of multicolored shots came out from behind a bush. “Duck!” Paul pulled Allison to the ground, managing to just dodge the incoming attack. Angel huddled behind a tree to avoid being hit a second time, and, after another fleet of paintballs skimmed just past the daredevil and do-gooder, they scrambled to join him. “Here, take these.” Angel took his bag of paintballs from his pocket and handed them to Allison. “You need to get out of here.” “But what about you?” Paul asked. “They don’t need to waste their time with me. I’m already out.” As if on cue, paintballs began pounding on the other side of the tree. “They’ll get you if you keep sitting around! Go while you have a chance!” Allison and Paul darted away from him, heading in separate directions when another round of shots flew right between them. Back at the tree, Angel watched as Sebastian and Risty hopped out from a bush. “Follow them!” Sebastian commanded, and he and Risty chased after their opponents. A few seconds later, Minerva skittered out of the hedge. “Wait for meeeeeeee!” Another minute passed before Elena stomped out of the bush. “You’re really gonna leave a soldier behind?! You’re supposed to be protecting me!” Angel observed in confusion as the strange foursome retreated deeper into the woods. He took a long look at the red paint stain on his shirt before groaning in frustration and moving in what he thought was the direction of the jailhouse. With the massive expanse of trees to hide in, he hadn’t expected to run into anybody along the way, but, surely enough, he ran into Isaac … quite literally, since the pyromaniac tripped over the crouching slacker. Angel narrowed his eyes in confusion at his roommate. “Dude, what’re you doing?” “Shhh, don’t draw attention.” Isaac hushed without looking up from the ropes he was knotting together. “I don’t want anybody to find out about my secret plan.” The fire starter raised a brow. “Your secret plan is making a noose?” “It’s not a noose. It’s way better than that.” Isaac slung part of his rope over a nearby tree branch and tied it to a rock on the ground. He then stepped back to give Angel a full view of the contraption he had assembled. “I’m making traps!” “ … Why do you know how to do this?” “Why don’t you know how to do this?” The underachiever countered. “Seriously, man, making traps is an essential life skill. I’ll teach you some day.” “Is this even allowed?” “Does it matter?” Angel took one more look at Isaac’s apparatus before shrugging. “Nah. Go for it.” “Sucks that you got hit, by the way.” The troublemaker gestured to the paint blot on his friend’s shirt, gathering his remaining ropes. “It must feel pretty crappy to be the first one out.” “Tell me about it.” The pyromaniac rolled his eyes. “At least I’ll have the comfort of a nice jail cell.” “Yeah, until you get company.” Isaac smirked. “One-cell jailhouse, remember?” “Don’t remind me.” Angel chuckled wryly. When his roommate escaped farther into the forest, he shouted after him, “Good luck not getting caught.” “I don’t need luck. I have my traps!” “Stupid mud, stupid trees, stupid leaves, stupid nature!” Avery chanted this mantra as she slogged through the forest, proving with every recitation that she was definitely not an outdoorswoman. She and nature had never quite cooperated, and she had managed to get her heels stuck in random holes at least twelve times in the past five minutes. Something in these woods made her nose itch and her hair get frizzy, so Avery’s hatred for nature only grew with every step. “I swear, Chris comes up with these challenge just to tick me off.” She awkwardly adjusted her weapon beneath her arm. “What kind of self-respecting woman plays paintball? Definitely not this one.” Despite her annoyance, Avery trekked on through the woods, unaware that she was walking straight into a trap. The drama queen’s monologue had attracted the attention of Sebastian, Risty and a finally caught up Minerva while they were pursuing Allison. Preferring to go for the easier target, they each crouched behind a different cluster of branches, ready to take Avery out when she crossed their paths. “Right after this challenge, I’m going right back to my room and taking a bubble bath. I don’t care if Allison needs the bathroom, I don’t even know where I’ll get the bubbles, but I just need to exfoliate. This fresh air is killing me!” Avery curled her upper lip as she unwittingly stepped into the firing zone. The Emmys waited for her to take a few more paces before pulling the trigger, as she was inches away from a perfect bull’s eye. “HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME BEHIND?!” Their cover was blown by Elena bursting through the bushes and pointing an accusatory finger at Sebastian’s squad. “Which one of you assholes decided to ditch me?! I trusted you to protect me, General Sex-on-a-Stick, and this is what I get?! What if I’d gotten lost?! What if I stepped in bear shit?! I stayed loyal to you and stuck with your stupid plan, but this is how you treat me?!” “She getting away!” Risty yelled. At the sound of Elena’s voice, Avery had hopped a shrub and fled the scene. The athlete began to chase after her, shooting several paintballs as she ran, but Avery slipped in a mud puddle and fell to the ground right before they could hit her. She rolled off to the side and hid under a bush, and Risty ran right past her, unaware that she had taken cover. “Ugh.” Avery scraped the mud from her top, flinging it to the ground. “Here’s another outfit ruined.” Sebastian’s squadron had stopped chasing Allison long ago, but she failed to notice that she could stop running until she paused to catch her breath. She was on her toes as she took a glance around, ready for somebody to pounce out at her at any minute. She had planned to stick out this challenge with Angel and Paul, but Sebastian and Risty had caught her completely off of her guard and destroyed her idea. She was now alone and had no idea just how far she had sprinted into the woods, and an enemy could be lurking around any tree. Once her heart rate had finally lowered to a normal rate, the adrenaline junkie continued on through the woods, stopping instantly when she heard voices. “I used to play paintball with some friends when I lived in Florida. It’s kind of fun if you can stand the bruises and welts.” “Bruising is not my style. We don’t exactly do paintball in the city … or at least I'' don’t.” Allison slowly crept towards the noise, once again ungrateful for her clunky boots. “I think we’re pretty safe here. We haven’t run into any of our own teammates, let alone any of The Oscars.” “I’m sure we’ll run into Colonel Ass-Hat and his crew eventually. I have no clue why Risty and Minerva decided to stay with him.” “Well, they’re probably not coming around for a while, so maybe I could take a power nap? Just a few minutes against this tree, that’s all.” Allison ducked into a shrub, peering through the leaves to see Wes and Monique sitting in a clearing. Wes was slumped back against a tree, his gun in his lap, while Monique was perched atop a stump with her weapon on the ground. “Victor and Donna were planning on leaving too, so they probably took Ophelia with them … but I bet Sebastian has Elena with him.” Wes snickered. “She’s alone without Gabe, so I’m sure she’s clingier than ever. That jerk is the perfect person to have to deal with her.” “Ugh, don’t even mention Princess Harks.” Monique shuddered. “I’m hoping she falls in a gopher hole or something.” “Maybe she’ll get stuck in quicksand.” The musician enthusiastically pitched in. The trendsetter arched an eyebrow. “Have you ever seen quicksand in real life?” “Well, um, no.” Wes bit the inside of his cheek. “With how often it comes up in cartoons, you’d think it’d be a major problem.” That was when Allison took her shot. She had been aiming for Wes’s chest, though the lanky guitarist had moved aside at the last moment, causing it to skim past his arm and hit the tree behind him. The two Emmys hopped to their feet as Allison rapidly fired more paint. Wes and Monique zipped through the trees, but the punk was right on their tails. “Wait, my gun!” Realizing that she had left her weapon on the ground, Monique made a U-turn, though Wes didn’t notice and sprinted on. The fashionista attempted to take cover behind a tree, but Allison was too quick and hit her in the thigh with a paintball. The designer yelped at the close shot. “Hey, that hurt!” “Nobody said it wouldn’t.” Allison shrugged. Monique glared. “If this leaves a bruise, you’ll never hear the end of it!” “Just be glad it won’t show up in your mug shot.” The thrill seeker shot her a cocky grin before jogging in the direction that Wes had disappeared. Monique just rolled her eyes. “‘At least it won’t show up in your mug shot,’” She mocked in a whiny voice. “She’d better hope her ''face doesn’t show up in her mug shot if I can get a piece of her.” “Isn’t this kind of wrong?” “Think of The Oscars as monsters that we need to eliminate.” Victor said. Ophelia frowned. “But not all monsters are bad. They might just be misunderstood. We’re conditioned from an early age to think that ugliness correlates with evilness.” “These are monsters that we know are bad.” Donna amended. “They’re demons who’ve escaped from Hell to claim innocent souls. We’re just hunting them down to save the people that they’re after.” The pale-haired girl digested the statement for a minute, but eventually nodded. “I can accept that.” In their exploration of the forest, the trio had managed to stumble upon a pair of long lines in the dirt that wound through the trees. When they realized that the mark was about the width of the barrel of a paintball gun, they chose to follow it to what would hopefully be two unsuspecting Oscars. They all knew that they weren’t stealthy enough to catch somebody off guard, but this breadcrumb trail seemed to be Lady Luck’s message that she was on their side. “How many people do you think are already stuffed into that jail cell?” Victor pondered. “I hope all of our friends are in there.” Ophelia whimpered. The actor furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t you want our teammates to still be in?” The oddball shook her head in denial. “I have a bad feeling about this challenge.” “It’ll be okay, Ophelia. These aren’t real guns.” Donna lifted her own weapon as if to prove it. “What damage can be done other than a sore spot in the morning?” “Danger is always lurking around the corner on this show.” Ophelia’s voice quickly faded off when she saw that the trails ended up ahead. The three Emmys scanned the area for the creators of the path, and Victor pointed to a flash of golden hair and the outline of a tall, slender figure behind a scant shrub. “We’ve got Irina.” The actor whispered. “Either of you want to take the first shot?” “I’ll try.” Donna raised her gun and closed one eye, aiming for the blonde. She fired six paintballs in a row in the model’s direction, excitedly pushing through the bush at the sound of Irina’s yelp. “Oh, no way.” Irina stood completely clean in the clearing, a circle of paintballs around her. Donna had missed every shot. At the sight of the smart aleck, the bombshell hurried in the opposite direction. “CARAAAA!” The trio chased her down, Victor leading the pack and firing a series of paintballs at her. Cara popped out from behind a shrub and intercepted the path between Irina and the shots, taking several blows to the side. Irina turned around and gaped at the environmentalist. “Cara!” She squeaked. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were back there!” Victor aimed to fire at the model again, only to have his target obstructed when Ophelia ran into his line of sight. “I’m so sorry, he didn’t mean it, we really didn’t want to hurt you!” After crouching down to examine her opponent’s injuries, the artist attacked Cara with a bear hug. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you? Is there anything I can do? I’m really sorry, and he’s really sorry, and Donna’s really sorry!” “I’m fine, thank you.” Cara awkwardly pried herself away from Ophelia. “You just caught me off-guard, that’s all.” “Oh, that’s wonderful news! I really didn’t want you to be in pain because of us.” Ophelia turned back towards her friends. “Now we can get Irina.” “You’re a few minutes too late.” Donna said. “She escaped while you were apologizing.” “Oh.” The blonde uncomfortably looked anywhere but at her teammates. “Oops.” “Mooooonique? Mooooniiiiique!” Wes wandered through the forest in search of his lost teammate, unaware that Allison had eliminated her when he had made his escape. There was safety in numbers, and, despite how tiny his walking partner was, he would feel much safer about his standing in the challenge if he could just find her. “Monique? Come on, I know you were following me before!” As he journeyed through the woods, he failed to notice the landscape around him changing, the shrubs being replaced by tall, thick trees with snaking limbs. “Allison’s not that fast, so she couldn’t have gotten you already!” Distracted by his hunt for his teammate, the musician didn’t spot the ropes wrapped around the trees surrounding him. He only noticed that he had stepped into a snare when a loop tightened around his ankle. In a series of intricate snaps and winding, one of Isaac’s traps came to life and yanked the gangly guitarist off of his feet. He was pulled into the air and flipped around by a set of well-tied ropes, hitting his head on the branches as he was thrown side to side. When the trap was finally done moving, Wes found himself dangling upside down from one of the strongest, tallest trees in the area. He tried to reach the rope that was twisted around his ankle, but his long arms could barely reach and there must have been a dozen knots in it. He dropped his arms to his sides, gravity pulling them downward to hang beside his head. While most people faced the debacle of fight or flight, Wes’s first instinct in this situation was to cup his hands around his mouth and scream, “HEEEEEELLLPPPP!!!” “Ooh, looks like Wes has got himself in a sticky situation, huh?” The camera switched over to Chris, who was sitting on the steps of the jailhouse. “Will Sebastian manage to show up his sucky teammates and win this challenge? Will Elena stop blowing her group’s cover? Will Isaac’s traps pay off, or will somebody come to save Wes before all of his blood rushes to his head?” The host chuckled. “I’m really hoping it’ll be the first option when we return on TDI: For Your Entertainment!” <<< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>>